Did you ever notice the tagline for my blog? “Do one thing everyday that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
I really want to embrace it, but quite frankly I am a scaredy cat. I can come up with every excuse to let myself float through life–some are often quite valid. But floating through life leaves me with a nagging sense of emptiness.
**This is me in early October at my baby shower. I was drinking water, not alcohol.**
Motherhood has enabled me to be a bit more brave. In February, I got this harebrained idea to attend Making Things Happen. What does harebrained even mean? So on a whim, and perhaps one too many glasses of wine on Valentines, I decided I was going to North Carolina in the middle of March. Okay, it wasn’t really a whim. I’d made spreadsheets of the potential costs figured out flights and whatnot and applied for a scholarship I didn’t end up winning, but deciding to actually go was still very much outside of my usual methodology. Eric was onboard and willing to try his hand at full-time daddyhood for a few days. I made arrangements and was set to go. If nothing else, I figured, I would at least get a bit of mommy vacation.
After I registered for Making Things Happen, I kept myself up all night with tummy issues from the anxiety of going away and facing my fears head on. I was scared. Petrified would be an even more accurate description. What the hell? Didn’t I want this?
So here I was electively deciding to leave my “comfortable” existence, and wee baby, and I was making myself sick. Makes perfect sense, right? But in spite of the uncomfortableness I knew I wanted to change. I was tired of sitting in the “I’m gonna, when…” and then not doing it. You know?
The cats still think they rule the roost. Now that junior pulls tails they are learning that they only rule the roost when he is asleep!
This is where the story gets interesting. I went and spent two long days with some pretty awesome people. I learned so much about myself. Things like what is currently working, and what is not. I heard a lot of sweet southern sayings. I even indulged in some southern specialities like: pimento cheese, biscuits, sweet tea, and fried okra. Yum!
Then, I came home to dirty diapers, a bored kiddo, bottles to wash, and the hum drum of everyday. I braced myself for the disappointment I expected in realizing that in spite of all my desire and hope, the things I wanted to change were never going to change and perhaps I’d wasted the resources, time away from my family, and effort I wholeheartedly put into my Making Things Happen experience.
Amazingly, that isn’t the case. This isn’t to say I came back my perfect weight, making my ideal income, and all of my worries went away. None of that happened. But I did come back a little less afraid of the things I once feared, and with an amazing group of accountability and encouragement to keep me moving forward on the things that matter most to me.
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